Male masturbation, which is Nature’s gift to men to help them maintain their sanity. AKA beating your meat, wanking, fapping, rubbing one out, playing with yourself, choking your chicken, cranking the shank, blowing your load, dishonorable discharge, flogging your log, massaging your muscle, pud whacking, sending out the troops, spanking your monkey, stroking it, five-on-one, and a date with Mrs. Palmer and her five daughters.